Mike and I met over Christmas vacation, 1977, at a local pizza parlor. A mutual friend introduced us and there was an immediate spark. As a little girl, I had given great thought to the kind of man I someday hoped to marry. When I met Mike, it was as though he was somehow familiar. Although I didn’t fully realize it, he was the embodiment of my hopes and prayers. Naturally, I found him to be quite cute, but he also had a warmth and gentle strength, that shone through his sparkling eyes. We spent most of the evening talking about our families and I was impressed by how much family relationships meant to him. After that night, neither of us ever dated anyone else. I was 16 and Mike was 18. Four years later, we were married.
Last week, we celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. We sat over dinner and shook our heads in amazement at how incredibly faithful God has been over the course of our years together. Even in my childhood imaginings, I never dreamed marriage could be such a joy. Our marriage has been an oasis for us- a safe harbor in the midst of some fierce storms. Early on, we encountered the pain and frustration of infertility, finally the miracle of a pregnancy, and then the heartache of a miscarriage. We cried out to God and leaned on each other.
Mike’s first assignment as a USAF pilot took us to the northern tip of Maine. It was there that our daughter, Alicia, was born. Our next move took us to the Air Force Academy. We were eager for another child, but the infertility problems continued. We adopted Joshua, from Guatemala, when he was 3 months old. At Joshua’s 1st birthday party, I was feeling poorly, so without telling Mike, I arranged for a pregnancy test. To our surprise and delight, Jacob was born later that year.
Parenthood was an answer to prayer, but also brought unexpected struggles. Over the course of several years, we learned that Joshua suffered from significant mental illness. We threw ourselves into finding help for him, but effective treatment eluded us. As a teen, he made a series of devastating choices. Around the same time, my parents divorced after over 40 years of marriage. I battled depression, but Mike stood beside me. Our hearts were crushed, but we cried out to God and leaned on each other.
I wouldn’t wish some of the things we’ve been through on anyone, but I do believe those times have drawn us even closer together. We’ve been candid about our struggles with family and the Christian community and know that their prayers have made a tremendous difference for us. We’ve also been ministered to by compassionate Christian counselors who helped us hold on to the hope found in Jesus, when we were most weary.
We share a strong conviction that our marriage is a priceless gift from God and that we are to be good stewards of it. Sometimes that means talking things out when we least feel like it. One thing that has been a literal godsend for us is time together in our hot tub. Relaxed and free from distractions, we’ve talked and prayed through many tough decisions and differences of opinion.
One of our prayers is that we’ll be the kind of testimony to what marriage can be that my grandparents were. Grandpa and Grandma Hattan were married almost 77 years. Their delight in each other and the richness of their commitment inspired all of us who were blessed to be part of their lives. We want to be that kind of example of best friends, married for life!